Be A Hedonist: Sing And Never Frown

Nancy Ajram in "El-Donya 7elwa" (Life is Good):

Forget the past forever
Never let the anger linger
Be happy and smile
Always let your spirit be high
O dear heart, sing again and again
And let my singing be heard all around
If it were upto me I would come hither
And tell the frown to go far far away
Life is good

The original lyrics in Arabic language:

Ensa elli raa7 3ala 6oul 3ala 6oul
Matsebshi za3lak marra ye6oul
Efra7 shwaya w ed7ak shwaya
Keda khalli rou7ak 3alya w high
W ya albi ghany kaman w kaman
Wa9al ghonaya la-kol makan
W ana law 3alaya delwa2ti gaya
3alashan 2a2oul ya za3al bye bye
El-donya 7elwa

Interpersonal Relationships ABCs

In some previous posts (like this one), I discussed my support for open relationships. At those times I skipped a good habit that I have been doing, which is starting with the basics before getting into the details. This entry can be considered as a late introduction into the basics to my personal views about relationships. As obviously expected all views expressed may not apply to everybody, and although I'll try my best to establish universal statements, those statements may not apply to all...


The first and most important statement, I believe, is that interpersonal relationships are "opt in". Relationships require consent. You cannot force someone to be in a relationship with you. This leads us to the second important realization, which is that interpersonal relationships are established through mutual agreement. Another important realization is that relationships are not necessarily permanent. This simply means that consent is not only required to start a relationship, but consent is also required for the continuity of the relationship. So if at a later point of time one does not want to be in a relationship, the relationship would be forfeited.

After realizing that no person can be coerced into a relationship, we come to understand the contract-based nature of relationships. For two people to be in a relationship, they have to both agree to be in a relationship. If any of the parties of a relationship don't agree to have a relationship, then that relationship is forfeited. Mutual agreement is the answer to the "how". How can two people be in a relationship, the answer is: By mutual agreement.

Now that we know "how" a relationship can be established, the question that begs itself is the "why". Since relationships are optional, why would someone choose to be part of a relationship. The answer to this question can be complex, but one word suffices: Benefit! Any relationship needs a motive, a motive can be a simple "I want someone to chat with...", or maybe just sex. Sometimes this motive can be a more complex emotional need like someone who wants love, or another who needs someone to rock their world! At other times, the motive is less direct, like wanting to establish a family... This leads us to the third conclusion which is: Whatever the motive is, Relationships need a motive.

Going back to the previous statement, relationships need mutual agreement, for this reason if one party has a motive to establish a relationship, but the other does not, then no relationship would happen. This leads us to the fourth conclusion: Relationships need mutual interest. So if we ask "why" relationships happen, the answer would be: Mutual interest!

This last conclusion is a really important conclusion. Without mutual interest there is no basis to establish a relationship. This means two things: First, unbalanced relationships are doomed to end. That's to say, a relationship where one partner gives too much, while the other contributes nothing to that relationship, that relationship would be on the self-destruction sequence. No-one is ready to take another's crap forever for free. It's that simple. Second, we can conclude that relationships need nourishment. It's cause-and-effect: Relationships survive upon mutual interest. Once one of the partners loses interest, that relationship will cease to exist!

An important factor in relationships, I believe, is communication. Even at the most basic step of initializing a relationship, communication plays an important part. How else than communication can two people reach mutual agreement?! But since relationships are not necessarily permanent, mutual agreement should be reassured at several points in the time-line of an ongoing relationship. The word "Relationship" means a bond, and communication is the tool that binds.

At this point I just want to compile a list of the statements and conclusions I have discussed about relationships that would sum all up:

1. Interpersonal relationships are opt-in. (ie. consent is required)
   
2. Interpersonal relationships can be opt-out. (ie. are not necessarily permanent)
   
3. Relationships are established through mutual agreement.
   
4. Relationships need a motive.
   
5. Relationships need mutual interest.
   
6. Unbalanced and\or abandoned relationships would deteriorate.
   
7. Communication is a key element for the continuity of a relationship.

Nothing Ever Happens And I Wonder

The other day, sitting in the car listening to the radio, I heard a cool song that describes the pointlessness of life... The song is by Fool's Garden and called "Yellow Lemon Tree", and it goes like this:

I'm sitting here in the boring room
It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon
I'm wasting my time
I got nothing to do
I'm hanging around
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder

I'm driving around in my car
I'm driving too fast
I'm driving too far
I'd like to change my point of view
I feel so lonely
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder (Full lyrics)

And I, too, am still waiting for the changes to come... And I wonder: Will they ever come?!

My Dream House

As a person, I admire a few things. The first thing I admire is functionality. I simply hate useless things, thats why a dream place for me should contain everything I need, and nothing I don't need. The another thing I admire is coziness. My place should be a relaxation center, everything related to relaxation should be easily available. Because of my admiration of coziness, the bedroom is in my opinion the most important room in any house.

My dream house should contain 3 Master bedrooms. Each one of them should contain all of the following: A master bed, a big screen TV with surround system, a phone, a computer, a closet, and at least two comfortable couches. My dream house contains NO separate guestroom. If I got any guests, I would host them in my bedroom (thats why I have couches in the bedroom)...

Each bedroom must be fully equipped, so that I might watch TV while in bed, or on the couch if I will. The computer is also in the bedroom, so that I wouldn't have to leave the bedroom except to either get something from the kitchen or go to the bathroom.

The house should contain two bathrooms where at least one of them contains a Jacuzzi that can host upto four individuals. Also, I would have a big kitchen and a minibar.

Supposedly, I would live in this house with my girlfriend. We have three bedrooms, so I would have a bedroom of my own, she would have a bedroom of her own, and we'd still have an extra bedroom. This way, we would have the choice of sleeping together in three different rooms, which can be very refreshing. Having more than one bedroom can give us a great amount of privacy and space.

This way, I can bring any girl I want to my bedroom and she can get any guy she wants to her room without any problems. If we want to share our sex lives we can do so freely, and if we decide to have separate sex lives we can easily do so as well. She wouldn't have to put up with any girl I bring home, neither would I have to put up with any guy she brings home. The extra bedroom can be used for guests. For example, if a friend of mine visited with his girlfriend - they can sleep the night in the extra bedroom.

It is obvious that my dream house is suited to host highly active sexual life, thats why it is important that each room would also be ready with sex tools, including: dildos, vibrators, and gels. It would also be a good idea to have one of the walls as a big mirror, so that we can watch ourselves as we are doing sex.

The Jacuzzi can also be used as an asset for sex. The Jacuzzi would hold upto four individuals, so if me and my girlfriend feel adventurous, each one of us would invite a friend, and then can have hot foursome in the tub... Big dreams, I know!!

Finally, the house should be a one-story house. Next to the house is a beautiful garden and a swing for the romantic nights: Sitting on the swing looking at the moon surrounded by beautiful roses - a perfect night out. Thats about it, this is my imagination of a perfect house that satisfies my two most adored features: functionality and coziness. This dream house also realizes my view on relationships, where it is possible to have an open relationship with side affairs, without causing any conflicts, without invading anyone's space or comfort zone.

Brief Look At Buddhism - Part 1: Basic Tenets

Having visited Sri-Lanka whose majority are Buddhists, I developed a small curiosity to learn about that religion. My first impression was that Buddhism was unlike anyother religion I have known before. Buddhism started 2500 years ago, around 500 years before Christianity.

The first important observation is that Buddhism is an atheist religion compatible with atheism. The Buddha (literally means "The Enlightened One") denied the existence of God as a supreme being that controls our humans' fate to either Heaven or Hell. Hedonism is one of the basic tenets of Buddhism. The goal of Buddhism is the state of eternal pleasure (called "Nirvana"), which can be achieved through methods described in Buddhism. The Nirvana idea is similar to the idea of Heaven in most religions (strictly speaking, religions like Christianity and Islam that advocate Heavens are considered as Hedonist religions). But unlike Christianity, Nirvana can be achieved through "personal effort", NOT bestowed by an upper authority called God!!

Buddhism introduces the concept of rebirth. Nirvana and rebirth are interconnected. Rebirth is the equivalent of suffering. Nirvana is the equivalent of the end of suffering, which is the goal of Buddhism. Buddhism starts with few axioms (assumptions) called "The Four Noble Truths". They are called "Noble", because they make the person who understands them a Noble person (at least that's what is claimed).

The first Noble Truth is that "Life means Suffering": Buddha based his visions on the indisputable(?) fact that any person who lives has to suffer one way or another at some point. The second Noble Truth is that "Suffering is caused by Desire": Buddha elaborates on the first truth and tries to explain why people suffer. Desiring transient (earthly) things causes suffering. So if someone wants to get something, but they don't get it, they will feel the suffering. Similarly, the process of acquiring things includes suffering. To get something, you have to pay something... Finally, it is by human nature that we have a never ending desire, that is whenever we achieve one thing, we will start looking for the next thing!! This concludes that life is a series of endless suffering. That's why Buddha has said: "Contentment is the greatest wealth".

The third Noble Truth claims that ending of suffering is possible by eliminating its cause (ie. releasing oneself from seeking earthly things). This axiom is simply conforming to the cause and effect philosophy. The fourth Noble Truth, is that to be able to release yourself from suffering, you can follow "The Eightfold Path", which is a path to the Nirvana.

Buddhism states that desire to live causes a person to live again through a process called "Rebirth". Since living, by the Buddhist definition, is equivalent to suffering, then being reborn means the continuation of suffering. Rebirth can be viewed as transferring the mental energy from a deceased body, to a newly formed living form (fertilized eggs in the case of humans). It is believed that a human can be reborn as a different species on earth, species in distant planets in this galaxy, or even a completely different dimension than this universe. But when a person eliminates his desire to live, he will not be reborn, and thus reaching a state of inexistence... Such state is free from suffering, thus is considered as the goal of the Buddhist. This state is called Nirvana.

Edit: Since some variations of Buddhism accept theism, the general statement "Buddhism is atheist" cannot hold. Although it can be noted that the most spread variations of Buddhism are atheist, particularly Theravada variation which is the oldest and most conforming to the original teachings of The Buddha.

An Inevitable Question

Sitting with my friends on the TV, they were passing through channels, they stumble on Melody channel (An Arab music channel, known for showing newcomer half-naked female singers) and Qur'an (The Islamic bible) was being broadcasted. "Whats this channel?" I asked. "Melody!" a friend replied, and then came the inevitable question: "So now Qur'an is some kind of new sexual fetish?!"