The guy i was bad-mouthing yesterday was me!!

In the very first semester of the university i was wondering how geeky the guy who comes first probably is! i wondered how many hours he probably spends with books around him! in skl, i was nvr the first, usually third or even fourth!!
the second semester came, and it seems that i was the first in my department!!
i always thought that success in academic field does not imply failure in other fields: today i am concerned this might only have been my excuse to be 'smarter'...... i would argue that i dont study much, and i am not a book nerdie...... yet somehow im still a nerdie: for example, who would start programming computer at age of 11? who would get 100/100 in physics in university without even giving a dime? who finds that mathematics is only a matter of 'common sense'? who would solve an exam in less than half the time set for it and get it all right?
the reason i am thinking about these stuff is that i am actually 'distant' from ppl..... and even if i was smart not nerdish this will not change that i have got the first in university in the first semester......... intelligence and nerdiness are different, but i am afraid both are hell!
maybe i am the person i nvr wanted to be............................

Excitement: Is There Such A Thing?

ave u ever felt excitement?? i would sadly say: never!
how pathetic is that? how cold is that? how sad is that!!
is it just me, or is the world so cold!

the latest place that i asked for thrill was in a pretty hard-impact car accident... cornering at speed around 140 km\h the car slips off its way, hits the sidewalk so violently that it jumps off the road flying in air for like a split second with noise being heard 3 blocks away!!! the repairing bill says it all: 1200 Jordanian Dinar (around 1000$)!!!!

the accident is horrible, but there is something that seems way more horrible: i get out of the car, look at it as if nothing happened! i wasnt even scared a bit! it was only god's mercy that i got out of it unhurt at this speed! yet i was not moved a milli!! how scary is that??