What Would Jesus NOT Do?

Jesus, the son of God, who also happens to be God himself has come to earth! What a miraculous wonder. One has to wonder what went through God's mind while planning for this miraculous event, but wonder no more, this is a sneak peek into Jesus planing his visit to earth.

One True Religion

I Love The Cross

Cleanternet: For A Cleaner and Safer Internet

Who doesn't want a cleaner internet?! Who doesn't want to put a stop to Child pornography, as well as, all the other evils that come with the internet. We all do want a cleaner internet, and Cleanternet is the solution. Lets all raise our hands in support of this progressive movement....

Click here for a video demonstration about the proposal for Cleanternet...

Let's Pray To Satan

Get 'Em Boys

Hamas launches over 70 rockets towards Israeli civilians...
One Israeli civilian killed.

Muntadhar Al-Zaidi is a hero!
He threw a pair of shoes at G. W. Bush, the president of America.

Egypt saves the day.
Egypt sends ambulances to Palestine in response to Israeli attacks that killed and injured hundreds.

Drapetomania: The Mentally Ill Slaves

Drapetomania is a mental illness that causes black slaves to flee captivity.

Samuel Cartwright has discovered this mental illness, and he also uncovered its cause. This disorder was a consequence of masters who made themselves too familiar with their slaves, treating them as equals. With good whipping, the slaves' unacceptable behavior can be fixed.

Fuck those mentally ill bastards! How dare they disobey their masters?! Thank you Samuel Cartwright for showing the world the right way to deal with those mentally sick slaves.

God Is Watching

If you masturbate, you must learn that masturbation is an abomination, and the "Veggie Fables" have the right song for you:

God is watching everything you do
When you get undressed or take a shower
When you touch yourself for hour after hour
God is watching everything you do

And He thinks you're a nasty, naughty nympho slut!
You sinful filthy whore you're going to hell!
Your flesh will burn, your bones will churn
Your soul will be torn asunder

You wretched heathen heretic, burn in hell
..... For eternity!
So you better remember!
God is watching everything you do! (source)

An Inevitable Question

Sitting with my friends on the TV, they were passing through channels, they stumble on Melody channel (An Arab music channel, known for showing newcomer half-naked female singers) and Qur'an (The Islamic bible) was being broadcasted. "Whats this channel?" I asked. "Melody!" a friend replied, and then came the inevitable question: "So now Qur'an is some kind of new sexual fetish?!"

Suicide Booths: Convenient Death

Why should killing your own self be a messy procedure?! We really need well-designed suicide booths for the convenience of those tired of life... Don't we?! Life is tough, why should death be so as well!!

Imagine having a small booth, you pay service charge and the machine kills you the way you wish to die. Maybe it can ask you about your favorite death mode. In the futuristic vision of Futurama (a cartoon series), they envision such a machine that offers two modes of death: "Quick and painless", and "Slow and horrible"!! A nice offer indeed and only for 25cents!!

If you are having trouble imagining how such booths would look and operate, maybe you should check this small clip. If the Futurama writers are correct, "Stop'n'drop is America's favorite suicide booth since 2008", this means we have about one year until the first general public designs will come into the market!! Lets hope these superb services would become available to our pathetic generations...

A God That Exists

Isn't it funny how many religious people mock Hindus for believing that COWS are sacred?! They brag about having a God that is more powerful and more thoughtful and stuff... I can't help myself but laugh!! Even if those Hindus think COWS are GOD, at least we know that their God does exist!!

PS: Hindus don't actually worship cows - This is a common misconception

Perfect Valentine's Gift

Disclaimer: Some links include sexually explicit content

Matchbox 20 in "Could I be you":

And I was wondering
Could I just be you tonight (Full lyrics)

On Valentine's Day boys and girls are looking for the perfect gift to give their loved ones. A perfect Valentine's gift should be able to demonstrate the love between the couple and increase their intimacy.

It is understood that many couples fantasize of walking in one another's shoes. Such experience would give intimacy its maximum boost. With that in mind, I have thought of the perfect Valentine's gift to get your loved one: A strap-on dildo.

On this special occasion, you can share with your loved one intimate moments where each one of you walks in the other's shoes - Swapping of souls you may say! For a unique life experience, girls and boys can swap their roles and see life in the eyes of the other person. If you are not sure how to use this unique tool, check this demonstration of the tool being used in action.

The Bag Tag - That Says Your Name

Since I have been kindly tagged by Tala with the BAG TAG^TM, the tag that reveals your TRUE IDENTITY^TM, I decided to face my demons and share with my readers the tag that I have been afraid to share!!

1. Calculator: Mainly for my exams, and sometimes to help me make simple calculations.
   
2. Pen: Obviously for writing my notes during classes.
   
3. Papers: Numerous handouts given by teachers, including syllabuses, exam papers, homeworks, ..etc.
   
4. Notebook: Also for writing down my notes during classes.
   
5. Probability Textbook: Nah, I don't carry books with me, its just that I just bought this book yesterday at the university!
   Now to the most shocking item, the item which only the BAG TAG^TM has ever been able to reveal, the item that speaks of my most inner demons, the item that reveals my TRUE IDENTITY^TM and says my name!
   
6. Lovely Green Dildo: Sometimes I feel kinda gay [as in right now!] and need to shove something up my butt!! It might also be used to give a chick an extra hand whenever -if at all- that comes handy...

Now, I pass on this tag to other gay fellows to help them come out of the closet with this incredibly gay tag, the BAG TAG^TM! Now that you know my little dirty secret, I hope Tala can now understand my initial hesitation to answer her tag in the comments here!

The Sex-Maid Of The Lord

Disclaimer: Blasphemous Content

The story according to the Christian Bible:

{1: 26} And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth, {1: 27} To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name [was] Mary. {1: 28} And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, [thou that art] highly favoured, the Lord [is] with thee: blessed [art] thou among women. {1: 30} And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. {1: 31} And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS. {1: 34} Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man? {1: 38} And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.

source: The Christian Bible - The New Testament / Luke 26-38 (PDF)

The way it really was:

{1: 26} And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth, {1: 27} To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name [was] Mary. {1: 28} And the angel came in unto her, and said: "Hello Virgin, the Lord has been pleased by your extreme naivety: You have a hymen, and therefore the Lord has chosen you. {1: 30} And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: The Lord has a small penis, it won't hurt at all. Besides his penis is so small, it can't possibly break your hymen! {1: 31} And, behold, the Lord has not touched a woman in ages, and is very horney. His dick is loaded with semen that he hopes would be fertile enough to make you pregnant. This son will be called JESUS because he will save the Lord's reputation from being called infertile. {1: 34} Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man? {1: 35} And the angel said: "See Mary, this is the point; You have not seen a man and so you are in desperate need for the Lord's small penis" {1: 38} And Mary said, Behold the sex-maid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.

Mary, every girl envies you: Fucked by God.. What an honor!

PS: Stories in this entry are fictional

World Cup Rants

Many people enjoy football matches, others only watch world cup because of its big-event status that only occurs once every four years... Thats all ok, and doesnt piss me off: But what really piss me off are those (girls) who cheer for a team (usually Italy) because it includes "hot players"... My suggestion is: If watching hot guys is the primary goal i suggest renting a porn film -preferably gay porn- and you'll be assured not be let down!

Arabic: The Fucked Up Language - The Closure

As stated before this semister I was taking Arabic classes. Everything during this semister was fine, fine until 11:15 when my Arabic class starts: An hour of constant boredom, mixed with the retrospect of a teacher who finds it necessary that girls and guys each sit on seperate sides of the class... Oh, the greatness! Thats all minor stuff compared to the final result: 68/100!!

Pretty much, this is higher than what i expected in my initial post; But still it did sabotage my semi-annual average... My semi-annual average is 88.5, but Arabic is the only subject below 90... My other grades were: 98 in computer organization, 95 in circuits, and 91 in both digital logic design lab and UML...

So now, because of that fucked up class all my other good grades go to hell... FUCK ARABIC!

Funny Video: The Satanic Cult

Check this to see how funny satanism is perceived! :D

Why Some Men Look For Virgins

There is an old joke that i think says it all:
There was a man who wanted to marry a real virgin; On the first night with his first bride he took off his pants, pointed at his dick and asked her: "What is that?", so she answered: "DAH! A penis!"; So he divorced her because she knew pretty much to be a virgin... He went on and on, marrying women and divorcing them untill one day, on the first night with a new bride, he took off his pants as usual and asked: "What is that?", and the girl replied: "I seriously have no clue at all!"; The man felt immensely happy that he found his lost treasure... Later on that night, after they fucked all night, he looked at her and said: "See honey, that is called a penis", the girl was shocked and replied: "Ohhh! Really??! I thought all penises were twice as big!!"

There is only one explanation: if a man is looking for a virgin then he has a small penis... The only reason i can think for a man to look for a virgin is to ensure the girl's ignorance to how 'short' he is to be a real man!

Opinion: If I Were A Girl!

Let me put it straight-forward for all of my readers: If I were a girl, i would pop my cherry with my own fingers... If you are not sure what "cherry" i am talking about, let me rephrase it this way: If i were a girl, i'd break my own hymen on my own!!
But why would a girl want to do that?! Simple: To piss "someone" off!!

Now seriously, a girl's sexual history is no-one's god damned business; Not even her husband's god damned buisiness!!
On a more serious note: Why would she even need to provide evidence of virginity even if she was one? Its purely degrading i think!
Yeah right, its like i say: "Honey am a horny lusty virgin slut, do me wildly!", then we fuck and he ends up saying: "But... but... U didnt bleed!"; So what big jerk: cant he take my word for it?! "Screw you, fuck the hell off my face!" i would say then, but only if it would have really mattered, which i dont think it would cuz then i'd probably have only wanted to get laid!!

I mean, you know those corn oil advertisements that say: "Make sure the Aluminuim foil is intact before you open it"; Do you see any distinction? None from where i stand, its an exact match!!

No more cherries for you honey: So Fuck Off!! 00100

PS: Try at your own risk

The Hate Dogma

Life is not about how much fun you have, but how much misery you create

-Fictional Terrorist

DAAH!!

PS: A fictional quote made up for sarcasm