Emotional Rape: What Is It?
Emotional rape can be defined as: Emotional abuse characterized by patterned and purposeful behavior which purpose is to undermine and control the victim. It is an attack on the victim's personality rather than their body. The term "emotional rape" implies a horrific crime, and that is exactly what the victim is going through. In sexual rape, the term "without consent" refer to the victim having not agreed to sex. Emotional rape is the abuse of someone's higher emotions -love, self-respect- without consent. Experts agree that emotional rape is far more complex than verbal abuse. While the latter tends to be erratic and direct response to specific situations, emotional rape is, quite simply, a systematic destruction of someone's personality.
source: Cosmopolitan magazine - September 2001 (ZIP/JPG)
Awareness is the fist line of defense for many hazards. For this reason, it is important that people become more educated about issues of psychological and emotional abuse. There are several forms of psychological abuse, like: Brainwashing, emotional blackmailing, emotional exploitation, emotional rape, and sometimes even hurtful verbal insults. I bet that most people don't even know that there is something called "Emotional rape".
The reason that people don't recognize emotional rape is because it is not recognizable under civil laws. No-one has ever been sent to jail because they emotionally abused another! It makes sense, because emotional damage cannot be quantified, and no-one can be held responsible for another's psyche. For this reason, it is important to spot and deal with emotional offenders, because no civil law would help.
Emotional rape aims to undermine the victim's self-respect and self-image leaving that person vulnerable to abuse. The victim starts developing a sense of dependence on the abuser, and thus feels incapable of escaping the emotional abuse circle.
I will not go into further details about emotional rape; I recommend that you read the full article issued in Cosmopolitan magazine September 2001.
Brainwashing techniques are widely practiced in cults. Because of lack of awareness about brainwashing, we find that numerous people become victims to cultist organizations. Many other forms of psychological abuse exist and as mentioned above, I believe awareness is the best line of defense.
8 comments:
Now you are trying to brainwash us with this talk? Lol *kidding*
Interesting article. I guess a lot of us has observed some kind of abusive emotional relationship in his life without really identitfying it.
I agree, awarness is the best line of defense :)
Hey Zaid,
i didn't know that the term "Emotional Rape" exists, but yeah these things happen. but you just don't see it before it comes, this is the ugly part especially if you have no past experiences, Thanks a lot for the article, i hope others read it as well
It is a heartless con game they play to keep their need for sexual supply filled. They know the wordS to say and the role to play to manipulate you into a relationship with them, but at the first sign that you are figuring them out, they will turn on you as if you were nothing.
No, otherS do not understand because they were not in your shoes.
To the legal system and people on the outside of the situation, it is easier for them to buy in to the explanation that the narcissist gives, that you are just scorned and want revenge, if you voice your pain and trauma.
A man can stalk a woman for years, set the stage for her vulnerability with manipulating circumstances and then use her confusion and distress to literally devour her mentally with all sorts of false compassions and scripted lines. He just moves on to the next person he finds to take advantage of.
It is the same grooming tactics used by pedophiles, but if you happen to be of age, no one cares.
It doesn't matter that may be you never dated before getting married, or that you may already be in an abusive situation and you were exploited, conned, and used.
The legal system is blind to it.
Some people have actually come forward to expose these types of narcissists that go around spreading diseases, and exploiting women or men. The perpetrators will do whatever they can to discredit their target, they will file false charges, file frivolous law suits, that is if they find an attorney completely hard up for a client, or maybe one that gets off on hurting the innocent victims themselves. Yes, they find the most asinine lawyer they can.
What does it say about our judicial system whenever they can't even see the system being manipulated by these types of victimizers? You would be surprised how many of them get away with stalking someone and then turning it around on their victims.
They make their victims get rid of any evidence during the grooming of the target, while they keep records of contact with them to use later as their defense.
Yes, this happens!
In one incident a man who was exposed on a exposing predator site in January of 2007.
This man actually coerced his victim throughout the relationship telling her repeatedly to get rid of proof of contact, told her to do the contacting to keep his number off her phone records, then used his records of her calls to file a harassment charge on her later.
This was vindictive revenge.
We need to be aware of what these sick individuals are capable of, even more, our legal system needs to get a clue!
Wake up America!
EMOTIONAL RAPE IS IN FULL SWING
Victims suffer devastating symptoms like PTSD
and it is real!
AS an emotional rape sufferer I thank you for posting this. I still have serious PTSD and am in counseling & medicated because of it.
And yes, Anonymous is right - these emotional rapists make everyone believe you are just scorned or crazy or a stalker... you name it.
I started a blog about everything that happened, just to counter my rapist's lies about me. Of course this just enraged him more so he started a hate site about me that's still up.
Some websites that might interest you:
http://www.lovefraud.com
http://narc-attack.blogspot.com
A great book that my trauma counselor recommended to me: EMOTIONAL RAPE SYNDROME by Dr. Mike Fox. Short but informative and most of all VALIDATING!
This happens to men too. I recently got out of a very long and abusive relationship where my girlfiend (who had a very troubled past and emotionally abusive mother) did all these things and more to me. Long before I even knew about such emotional abuse I penned a letter describing all the bad things from the relationship, it reads a heck of a lot like this article.
I was emotionally raped by an MD. You article helps me recognize that his behavior was much like a pedophile at first, except that he inserted put-downs with the sugar. I never have been able to figure out why he tickled me when we were almost alone in the clinic on a Sunday. It seems sexual, but a crazy move for an MD to make.
Yet he is craxy. Narcissistic and sadistic. I was traumatized by both him and my medical condition.
I am glad that some people have read this article and helped them see things more clearly.
As humans, as social beings, and as love-capable creatures, we sometimes indulge in false fantasies. In our search for acceptance, love, and emotional satisfaction, we ignore that signs of abuse in a relationship.
I am no expert in psychotherapy, but what I think is really important for any emotional rape survivor (or in fact any person in general) is to be able to recognize signs of abuse, as well as, sign of good will. When you can do that, you can trust yourself again to be in a relationship with another person, and thats the most important part of healing: To be able to love again.
Reading the book The Emotional Rape Syndrome was like opening the door to my soul! I thought I was losing my mind in dealing with the aftermath of a break up with an emotional rapist. I feel like I have been healed from demon posession. The truth has set me free. The PTSD is going away and I am looking forward to getting off medication. This emotional rapist made me very sick. This man can no longer take space in my soul. I can forgive my rapist and know that I am not required to trust this sick monster. The poor woman he is currently with now has to go through this hell. She has been warned through social channels that this man is dangerous. Free at last....God almighty I am free at last. I truly know now how to avoid this kind of relationship....take a slow approach to sexual involvement which is so often the hidden agenda these guys have. They want sex without emotional ties but they will pretend to have feelings until they have you hooked and then the games begin! I can't believe it has taken me this long to figure this out. I am not a frigid prude however there are some very sick sexual predators out here who will rape you emotionally to get to your body and yes ladies....money! This monster used to brag that in his divorce settlement his second former wife paid him $20,000 for everytime they had sex. She paid over 3 million dollars to unload this rapist. I am ashamed to admit that I did not run when he told me that. Be on the guard for naricisstic behavior...key symptom for potential emotional rape.
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