Thursday, May 19, 2011

Misunderstanding Generosity

Generosity is a good quality in a person. However, many people misunderstand the concept of generosity, especially Arabs (or at least Jordanians, because that's where I observed the questionable behaviors). One such observation I notice it commonly when I take a cab in Jordan.

Everytime I get a cab to get home, the Taxi driver says: "5leeha 3laina" [translation: "It's on me"]. Now, this is a very ignorant response, because I would be put in a situation where I have to convince him to take my money!! How ridiculous is that?! Basically, I need to convince someone to take what's rightfully theirs!

This type of behavior is not only observed with Taxi drivers, but rather in many of the social aspects of life. Another very common example is when friends or acquaintances pay for something and then refuse when you offer to pay them back. Many many annoying habits that people have. And in my opinion, this is a social plague that needs to end. Giving up your rights has become a social norm!! That is indeed a scary observation, and it affects society in many aspects. Giving up your rights is not an act of "politeness" or "generosity".

And this form of misleading social norms influences the political arena. People are shy to make demands, ask for their rights, or require fairness. Someone who is not afraid to demand his rights, or requesting to be treated fairly and respectfully is seen as an obnoxious person, rather than a hero in the difficult times when rights are abused and taken away without reservation.

This madness has got to stop!

PS: Inspired by this entry


Rain said...

مش بس التكاسي كلشي هيك
قال يعني بيخجلوك بهالطريقة

Devil's Mind said...

Translation of Rain's comment:

It's not only the Taxis, everything is like that. As if it's gonna make you timid that way. That's retarded.


Yep, that's another side of the coin, that showing generosity, even if it was insincere, somehow gives the person control of the situation. Too much bullshit going around!

Doomish said...

Limiting my answer on Taxis,
i hate anything and everything related to taxi drivers.

hypocrisy is much appreciated in our culture, its actually a prerequisite for your day to day activity.

Devil's Mind said...

Indeed, hypocrisy is way over rated!! It makes the honest folk look like scum bags!

Aseel said...

"another very common example is when friends or acquaintances pay for something and then refuse when you offer to pay them back."... I hate this when it happens esp. when that person isn't that close to me. Social norms can be unnecessarily complicated and dull.. wish they were simpler..

Devil's Mind said...

Actually, for me only those who are not close do that. My friends and I have a good sense of fairness in the relationship, and do not hesitate to take or ask for what's ours, and give when deserved.

Many people would say: "We're friends, money is a non-issue!"... And I would reply: "By refusing to take the money you are making it an issue!" - Friendship is not about giving away money, or taking money. It's about enjoying the other person's company.