Saturday, June 24, 2006

The Sex-Maid Of The Lord

Disclaimer: Blasphemous Content

The story according to the Christian Bible:
{1: 26} And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth, {1: 27} To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name [was] Mary. {1: 28} And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, [thou that art] highly favoured, the Lord [is] with thee: blessed [art] thou among women. {1: 30} And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. {1: 31} And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS. {1: 34} Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man? {1: 38} And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.

source: The Christian Bible - The New Testament / Luke 26-38 (PDF)

The way it really was:
{1: 26} And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth, {1: 27} To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name [was] Mary. {1: 28} And the angel came in unto her, and said: "Hello Virgin, the Lord has been pleased by your extreme naivety: You have a hymen, and therefore the Lord has chosen you. {1: 30} And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: The Lord has a small penis, it won't hurt at all. Besides his penis is so small, it can't possibly break your hymen! {1: 31} And, behold, the Lord has not touched a woman in ages, and is very horney. His dick is loaded with semen that he hopes would be fertile enough to make you pregnant. This son will be called JESUS because he will save the Lord's reputation from being called infertile. {1: 34} Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man? {1: 35} And the angel said: "See Mary, this is the point; You have not seen a man and so you are in desperate need for the Lord's small penis" {1: 38} And Mary said, Behold the sex-maid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.

Mary, every girl envies you: Fucked by God.. What an honor!

PS: Stories in this entry are fictional